I don’t understand. I try to be super kind, fun, helpful. They just don’t like me. Welcome to the actual world of handling student criticism and hate! Well, at least it feels like that! For me, rapport is everything, and—this I promise you—students will dislike you. No matter what you say or do, there will always be 1 or 2 students who will find something to dislike about you. Know this—it’s them, not you! Don’t worry about student judgement and dislike. Keep your head high, be you, and carry on because this experience is one of life’s great lessons: The sooner you accept that not everyone is going to like you, the easier your life will be. Please read my advice below on handling this uncomfortable feeling or emotion.
1. Let Go. Students are young. Students’ brains are not fully developed or mature yet. Sometimes impulse control is absent. Remember their ages when you’re dealing with this part of teaching. I still need to remind myself that we are super imperfect beings dealing with other super imperfect beings. If you’re being affected by their comments, it might be time to address your own insecurities and lack of confidence. Practice affirmations, read quotes, and remind yourself daily that you can’t make everyone happy. The best people in the world receive criticism. So what really excuses you or me from judgment and criticism?
2. Discipline: If the student becomes disrespectful, then you need to hold the student accountable to your classroom management plan. Make sure you have a set of class rules with a general list of consequences displayed in front of your class. Speak with the student after class and follow through with a consequence. Recently, a student of mine was unhappy to see me upon my return from an absence. He then changed his seat without asking and talked with his friend. I sent him back to his original seat and spoke with him after class about his behavior. This was his first offense: I conferenced with him about his behavior and clarified that from now on, this will not continue. I didn’t yell or take it personally, but I became very serious and firm in this interaction. First offense: I go with a conference and a warning. If the behavior continues, I typically contact a parent because we should never tolerate disrespect.
3. Treat fairly: After you discipline the student, treat this person with respect. Don’t be extra nice or give them extra privileges. Don’t use bribery or take your anger out on the student. Let your consequences do the heavy lifting and teaching. They are children who need a lot of guidance and positive experiences. Remind yourself that you’re an outstanding teacher, and unfortunately, conflict or problems with students are inevitable. Keep being you! Keep reminding yourself why you became a teacher. Sometimes, when I am really down on teaching, I think about all my successes in the classroom. Try to get out of your head! Teaching isn’t easy. We don’t always get the appreciation and that good karma in return. Take the high road always in this profession. Move on and focus on all the positives of what you’re doing. It’s super easy to dwell on negativity, but please don’t. Train your mind to seek the positive! You are a special person to have chosen this profession. Don’t forget that!
4. Get “whole”: After work, on weekends, do things that bring you happiness. See friends, exercise, read a book, go for a walk, get a counselor, meditate, or get involved in a sport. Try to keep yourself mentally healthy by getting away from teaching, especially if you’re really struggling. Every teacher has their rough days, but accepting dislike and criticism should be a priority. Do this for yourself now, because if you don’t, it will follow you into other areas of your life. Keep that smile on your face as much as you can. It is important not to personalize a lot of things in life. Opinions and judgments are not accurate, and this little wisdom should get you past these mental wounds of taking things personally. Carry on and again keep your head held high. Students need you!
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